1 00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:08,344 Money just... perverts everything. 2 00:00:08,432 --> 00:00:10,790 At this point, I could stand to be a little perverted. 3 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:12,870 Yeah, I wanna be a lot perverted. 4 00:00:13,003 --> 00:00:16,419 We'll be profitable and up 5X inside three years. 5 00:00:16,502 --> 00:00:18,831 You've got three months. 6 00:00:19,948 --> 00:00:22,071 - What is this? - My resignation letter. 7 00:00:22,159 --> 00:00:23,407 Laurie, what are you doing here? 8 00:00:23,495 --> 00:00:25,744 I've made myself the CEO of the OwlNet. 9 00:00:25,832 --> 00:00:27,166 This is who you're walking away for? 10 00:00:27,254 --> 00:00:29,400 - This... George R.R.... - No, no, no. No! 11 00:00:29,518 --> 00:00:31,807 - Oh my god! - You did this, Richard! 12 00:00:32,669 --> 00:00:34,625 Cheers to our future endeavors together. 13 00:00:34,794 --> 00:00:38,602 We will not mine user data. 14 00:00:38,878 --> 00:00:40,044 I was very clear about that. 15 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,969 If you do not take my money, Richard... 16 00:00:42,195 --> 00:00:45,141 it will be very bad for you. 17 00:01:00,898 --> 00:01:03,336 - A billion dollars? - Yes. 18 00:01:03,652 --> 00:01:08,257 A man offered us a billion dollars, 19 00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:10,484 and you said no? 20 00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:12,685 A very bad man, and he would've turned us 21 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,453 into the worst possible version of ourselves. 22 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,334 I mean, you can't put a price on ethics. 23 00:01:16,422 --> 00:01:18,210 But it seems you just did. 24 00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:20,576 One billion dollars. 25 00:01:20,765 --> 00:01:23,603 Monica... you were okay with this? 26 00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:26,250 Y-Yes? 27 00:01:26,851 --> 00:01:28,210 Richard, 28 00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:31,709 do you remember when you turned down $10 million from Gavin Belson? 29 00:01:31,797 --> 00:01:35,210 Did that start some sick addiction to turning down money? 30 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:39,560 Are you just chasing that dragon, you sick junkie fuck?! 31 00:01:39,648 --> 00:01:42,513 Now, Dinesh, look, if I'd taken that 10 million, 32 00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:45,427 you wouldn't own two and a half percent of everything we've built here! 33 00:01:45,515 --> 00:01:48,956 Two and a half percent of a billion dollars is $25 million! 34 00:01:49,044 --> 00:01:51,581 Yes, but, actually, the billion dollars 35 00:01:51,669 --> 00:01:53,706 was to own ten percent of the company. 36 00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:56,347 So, not to split hairs, you would, uh, technically, 37 00:01:56,435 --> 00:01:58,323 be worth... 250 million. 38 00:01:58,411 --> 00:01:59,857 - Fuck! - Huh. 39 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,277 At an interest rate of 3.65 percent, 40 00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,502 leaving a billion dollars in the bank would get you 41 00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:06,566 $36.5 million a year. 42 00:02:06,654 --> 00:02:08,964 That's a hundred grand a day. That's... 43 00:02:09,052 --> 00:02:12,115 - Sixty-nine dollars a minute. - Sixty-nine dollars a minute! 44 00:02:12,255 --> 00:02:14,152 Think about all the gold chain 45 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,568 you could've bought with that money. 46 00:02:15,656 --> 00:02:16,982 I actually don't think... 47 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,591 that interest rate is accurate because... 48 00:02:19,784 --> 00:02:22,552 - even a 30-year T-bill is only... - Two-point-nine percent. 49 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,265 - Two-point-nine. - All your blathering 50 00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:26,263 just now would've made us $2.32. 51 00:02:26,351 --> 00:02:28,542 Again, I-I don't think that's right because, 52 00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:30,167 assuming an APR of three, 53 00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:31,779 I cost us well under two dollars, 54 00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:33,474 so it's not even... 55 00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:37,232 Um, sorry, uh... 56 00:02:39,684 --> 00:02:41,351 - Hello? - Richard! 57 00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:42,771 It's Maximo. 58 00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:44,854 We are on the phone. How are you? 59 00:02:44,942 --> 00:02:46,568 Yeah, I know. I'm fine. 60 00:02:46,656 --> 00:02:49,152 We were just talking about you, myself and Colin. 61 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:50,560 - Colin? - Oh, yes. 62 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,398 Colin is here. 63 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,677 He is making the peace sign to you. 64 00:02:54,872 --> 00:02:56,826 Now, you remember how you refused to take my money? 65 00:02:56,914 --> 00:02:59,607 Well, Colin, he did take my money. So, 66 00:02:59,695 --> 00:03:01,175 now he is leaving your network. 67 00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:02,864 Wait, to go where? 68 00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,482 Oh, to the network run by new friend, Laurie Bream. 69 00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:07,693 Now, you remember when I said if you did not take my money, 70 00:03:07,781 --> 00:03:09,552 it would be very bad for you? 71 00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:12,809 Well, let me tell you what is going to happen to you next. 72 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,058 Which was too, too, too much for her, 73 00:03:15,146 --> 00:03:18,230 so she went down 51st Street to see Dr. X, 74 00:03:18,318 --> 00:03:20,466 who gave her eight pills, which left her... 75 00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:22,784 Boobless. 76 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,330 *SILICON VALLEY * 00:03:34,338 *SILICON VALLEY * Episode Title : "Hooli Smokes!" 78 00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:38,318 - So, Colin's out. - Yes. 79 00:03:38,561 --> 00:03:40,896 So, our profits are... zero. 80 00:03:40,984 --> 00:03:42,068 It's worse than that. 81 00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,640 Maximo has bought all of Laurie's Pied Piper shares, 82 00:03:44,728 --> 00:03:47,270 as well as all the shares of Big Head's dad. 83 00:03:47,358 --> 00:03:49,333 He now owns 30 percent of the company. 84 00:03:49,421 --> 00:03:51,372 So, the only way we can raise money to stay alive 85 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:53,333 is by selling shares, but the second we do that... 86 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,701 Maximo buys them. 87 00:03:54,789 --> 00:03:56,536 Yeah, and when he gets a majority stake, 88 00:03:56,624 --> 00:03:58,874 he can do whatever he wants. 89 00:03:59,016 --> 00:04:01,099 Shut us down, fire all of us, 90 00:04:01,187 --> 00:04:03,277 take our IP to Laurie to use on her network. 91 00:04:03,365 --> 00:04:04,441 He's starving us out. 92 00:04:04,529 --> 00:04:06,755 - How long can we survive? - Well, 93 00:04:06,974 --> 00:04:10,685 the Siege of Candia lasted 21 years. 94 00:04:11,021 --> 00:04:13,395 Oh. Well, that's something. 95 00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:15,761 It ended in 1669, 96 00:04:15,849 --> 00:04:18,113 when the Ottoman soldiers were infected with plague 97 00:04:18,201 --> 00:04:19,536 after being attacked with the liquid 98 00:04:19,624 --> 00:04:22,138 from the spleens and buboes of the dead. 99 00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:23,318 What's a bubo? 100 00:04:23,406 --> 00:04:25,786 Plague-infested lymph nodes. 101 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,499 So, they would, like, scoop them out and throw them at people? 102 00:04:28,587 --> 00:04:31,451 Fuck! Fuck. 103 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:35,349 Richard, did you just try to punch the wall and miss? 104 00:04:35,437 --> 00:04:37,771 Nope. I clipped it. I got it. 105 00:04:38,047 --> 00:04:39,264 Sort of like that. 106 00:04:39,515 --> 00:04:40,724 I see. So, 107 00:04:40,812 --> 00:04:43,091 until a Richard Hendricks reports an assault, 108 00:04:43,179 --> 00:04:45,006 I-I technically can't turn myself in for it? 109 00:04:45,094 --> 00:04:46,279 That is correct. 110 00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:47,951 And what about a restraining order? 111 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:50,789 Can I-I take one out against myself on his behalf? 112 00:04:50,877 --> 00:04:52,201 No. 113 00:04:52,339 --> 00:04:55,326 What if I threaten you guys? Just hear me out... 114 00:04:57,146 --> 00:05:00,312 Fucking pigs. I-I hope that you get cheated out of your overtime. 115 00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,022 How about that, dickless? 116 00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:04,061 Maybe you could just try calling the guy? 117 00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:07,865 Why were you talking to the police? 118 00:05:08,109 --> 00:05:10,276 Oh, it was just a personal issue. 119 00:05:10,479 --> 00:05:12,145 You should not bring them here. 120 00:05:13,554 --> 00:05:15,387 Fuck the police. 121 00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:19,545 Jian-Yang, you're not doing anything illegal here, are you? 122 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:21,897 Yes. 123 00:05:24,134 --> 00:05:25,677 Where is everyone? 124 00:05:36,089 --> 00:05:39,006 Jared is bringing chaos to the house, 125 00:05:39,094 --> 00:05:41,299 and chaos is bad for our business. 126 00:05:41,394 --> 00:05:44,534 Yeah. What is our business? 127 00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:48,955 I told you, it's a better for both of us if you do not know. 128 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,640 Oh, right. Yeah. 129 00:05:51,203 --> 00:05:52,815 We need to get rid of Gwart. 130 00:05:53,126 --> 00:05:55,418 It's the only way to get rid of Jared. 131 00:05:55,651 --> 00:05:57,252 Gwart. 132 00:05:57,931 --> 00:05:59,104 Yes. 133 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,531 Richard? 134 00:06:05,818 --> 00:06:07,984 - Gavin. - You look like shit. 135 00:06:08,442 --> 00:06:09,966 So do you. 136 00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:12,156 What happened to your hand? 137 00:06:12,569 --> 00:06:13,986 I punched a wall. 138 00:06:14,424 --> 00:06:15,799 Cool. 139 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,066 Want a drink? 140 00:06:18,154 --> 00:06:19,864 Don't you think it's a little early... 141 00:06:19,948 --> 00:06:22,313 It's kombucha with ginseng and lemongrass, Richard. 142 00:06:22,408 --> 00:06:24,075 I'm not a fucking hobo. 143 00:06:24,823 --> 00:06:27,587 All I wanted to do was be a golden millionaire. 144 00:06:27,675 --> 00:06:28,985 Is that too much to ask? 145 00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:31,313 A millionaire that gets peed on? 146 00:06:31,632 --> 00:06:33,602 I could see you making half that happen. 147 00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:36,235 No, you have as many millions as your age. 148 00:06:36,608 --> 00:06:39,842 I mean, everyone in the Valley is swimming in money. 149 00:06:39,981 --> 00:06:41,490 Why not me? 150 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,256 I believe your people have a concept for it. 151 00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:46,147 - Karma. - Firstly, 152 00:06:46,235 --> 00:06:48,700 I am Muslim from Pakistan, you fucking racist. 153 00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:50,545 Secondly, karma does not exist. 154 00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:52,178 Otherwise, it would mean that bad things 155 00:06:52,266 --> 00:06:53,849 happen to me because I'm a bad person. 156 00:06:53,937 --> 00:06:56,311 Check... and check. 157 00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:58,191 Oh, I'm a bad person? 158 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:00,506 Says the guy who literally worships Satan. 159 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,175 I am a great guy. 160 00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:04,491 In my youth, I would've argued that life is just 161 00:07:04,579 --> 00:07:07,850 a series of random events, devoid of any meaning. 162 00:07:08,064 --> 00:07:11,256 But as a data scientist, I have to recognize 163 00:07:11,352 --> 00:07:15,295 that... sometimes, patterns emerge. 164 00:07:16,055 --> 00:07:18,819 Undeniable patterns. 165 00:07:20,526 --> 00:07:22,484 Get right with the universe. 166 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,952 Dinesh? 167 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,814 - Yo! - Hey. 168 00:07:25,902 --> 00:07:28,047 What is up, my cousin? 169 00:07:28,135 --> 00:07:30,061 - Oh! - Hey, uh, Gilfoyle, 170 00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:32,477 - you remember my cousin, Wajeed? - Yes. 171 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,844 Coz, I have been meaning to call you. 172 00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,473 Remember last year when you wanted to sell 173 00:07:36,561 --> 00:07:38,946 all those shares of Bro that I gave you? 174 00:07:39,111 --> 00:07:40,813 And I was like, don't sell those shares! 175 00:07:40,901 --> 00:07:42,775 And you were like, "I need the money 176 00:07:42,885 --> 00:07:45,243 "to buy floor mats for my Tesla, so I can make a guy 177 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,068 named Danny in the office feel bad." 178 00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:48,531 Good memory. Um, 179 00:07:48,614 --> 00:07:51,406 but, you know, Bro was basically out of business. 180 00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:52,649 It was. 181 00:07:52,737 --> 00:07:55,029 But so wild! 182 00:07:55,146 --> 00:07:58,157 After you sold those shares, I sold Bro to MoveShack 183 00:07:58,281 --> 00:08:01,563 for basically nothing, and yesterday, 184 00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,094 MoveShack got "acquired" 185 00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:08,672 by Snapchat, and, uh... we crushed it! 186 00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:13,180 - How much did you make? - Oh, you won't believe this... 187 00:08:18,238 --> 00:08:20,101 Sixty million dollars? 188 00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:22,079 Yes, 60 million dollars! 189 00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,750 I'm a golden millionaire! 190 00:08:24,854 --> 00:08:26,353 Times two! 191 00:08:26,456 --> 00:08:29,247 So, Dinesh sold his shares, 192 00:08:29,411 --> 00:08:33,493 and then your fortunes turned around. Is that right? 193 00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:36,984 Huh. Weird. It's just like that time. 194 00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,094 Remember, you, me, and Ali, we went down to play by the river... 195 00:08:40,182 --> 00:08:42,883 - Oh... Boring story. - And then, and then Dinesh, 196 00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:45,758 you snuck home so that you could get Ali's jump rope 197 00:08:45,846 --> 00:08:47,279 and play with it by yourself, 198 00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:48,765 without telling him, 199 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,305 and then Ali and I found a giant... 200 00:08:52,687 --> 00:08:54,773 giant box of British candy. 201 00:08:54,884 --> 00:08:56,318 You love candy. 202 00:08:56,406 --> 00:08:57,948 Oh, it was the best. 203 00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:00,055 Anyway, I'm a golden millionaire. 204 00:09:00,143 --> 00:09:01,914 How about I buy drinks, yeah? 205 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,494 - Karma's a... - You're a bitch. 206 00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:07,586 Anyway, the fucking US government 207 00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:09,383 blocked the entire thing. Can you believe that? 208 00:09:09,471 --> 00:09:11,055 I pay taxes. 209 00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:13,836 - I mean, I don't, but... - Yeah. 210 00:09:14,171 --> 00:09:15,836 But look, I mean, I think 211 00:09:15,924 --> 00:09:17,466 we're even more fucked than you are. 212 00:09:17,702 --> 00:09:19,305 We're quite a pair, aren't we? 213 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,297 To us. To the men in the arena, 214 00:09:22,718 --> 00:09:26,044 living or dying under the watchful gaze of Caesar. 215 00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:28,255 Are you not entertained? 216 00:09:35,046 --> 00:09:38,676 It's, uh, from Jared Dunn. Do you remember him? 217 00:09:38,803 --> 00:09:40,594 Of course. How's he doing? 218 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,489 Actually, uh, funny enough, 219 00:09:42,577 --> 00:09:45,994 he just bailed on me to go work for some... 220 00:09:46,082 --> 00:09:48,333 sexy new startup back at my old hacker hostel. 221 00:09:48,447 --> 00:09:52,317 Ironic. Exactly the same way he left me, for you. 222 00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,614 Jared always had an eye for talent. 223 00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:57,911 Thanks, I guess. 224 00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,667 So, what was the munition 225 00:10:00,755 --> 00:10:02,716 that CIFIUS got on your case for? 226 00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:04,062 Some kind of... 227 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:06,609 - illegal hacking tool? - You wanna hear the worst part? 228 00:10:06,697 --> 00:10:09,567 It's a fucking dating app called Foxhole. 229 00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:11,247 - An app? - Yep! 230 00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:13,711 I can't shut it down because my investors will lose their shit, 231 00:10:13,799 --> 00:10:15,951 and I can't sell it because who the fuck wants something 232 00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:18,484 - with all those restrictions on it? - Right. 233 00:10:18,572 --> 00:10:20,073 Anyway... 234 00:10:21,545 --> 00:10:23,044 Here's to us, 235 00:10:23,314 --> 00:10:24,755 the Shackletons, 236 00:10:24,843 --> 00:10:27,669 - betrayed by nature's cruelest whims... - Wait. 237 00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:29,645 - Her wants... - Sorry, just... 238 00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:31,911 If I owned Foxhole, 239 00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:33,880 wouldn't that prevent this Chilean guy 240 00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,661 from buying more of my shares? 241 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,419 Actually, it would go even further. 242 00:10:37,507 --> 00:10:39,674 He'd have to sell all the shares he already owns. 243 00:10:39,762 --> 00:10:41,095 Okay, so, um, 244 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,884 if you sell me Foxhole, I mean, that would 245 00:10:43,972 --> 00:10:45,847 certainly save my ass, obviously, 246 00:10:45,935 --> 00:10:48,301 but it would also save yours 247 00:10:48,632 --> 00:10:51,382 because then you could move your operations wherever you wanted. 248 00:10:51,794 --> 00:10:53,752 I mean, it's kind of perfect, right? 249 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,630 It would benefit us both, equally. 250 00:10:56,903 --> 00:10:58,458 - Holy shit. - Yeah. 251 00:10:58,593 --> 00:11:02,292 Um, look, Gavin, I know we always haven't seen eye-to-eye, 252 00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,209 we're not the best of friends, but... 253 00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:07,362 this may be a chance to actually 254 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,200 help each other out, right? 255 00:11:10,323 --> 00:11:11,716 What do you say? 256 00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:14,864 I mean... isn't it obvious? 257 00:11:14,952 --> 00:11:17,744 I say... no! 258 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,700 - What? - No! 259 00:11:20,803 --> 00:11:22,470 Fuck no, Richard! 260 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,934 I can't make a move that would benefit you. 261 00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,973 You're my competition. Help no rival. 262 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,994 It's one of the basic principles of business. 263 00:11:29,082 --> 00:11:31,478 We just spent the last hour bonding about how 264 00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,878 this business is comprised of backstabbers and cutthroats. 265 00:11:33,966 --> 00:11:36,882 Yes, exactly! That's what this is. 266 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,184 It's a little weird you don't get it. 267 00:11:39,277 --> 00:11:40,668 I could help you, Gavin. 268 00:11:40,797 --> 00:11:42,505 You already have, Richard! 269 00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,394 I mean, I was sitting up here feeling 270 00:11:44,619 --> 00:11:47,245 totally just impotent, and then you came along 271 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:50,041 and exposed your underbelly, and practically begged me 272 00:11:50,129 --> 00:11:52,689 to plunge the knife in! I mean, I still have a deep hole 273 00:11:52,777 --> 00:11:55,801 to crawl out of, but this is a fucking great start. 274 00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:57,916 Look at that. 275 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,051 It barely hurts anymore. 276 00:12:00,161 --> 00:12:01,785 Well, if you'll excuse me, 277 00:12:01,873 --> 00:12:03,074 I have a triathlon to train for, 278 00:12:03,162 --> 00:12:06,598 and I'm suddenly feeling a wellspring of energy. 279 00:12:07,489 --> 00:12:09,240 Look, Richie, 280 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,604 you're basically outta options. 281 00:12:11,692 --> 00:12:13,387 So, what are you saying? That... 282 00:12:13,475 --> 00:12:15,785 I just lay down and die? 283 00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:19,757 I take issue with your definition of die, my dude. 284 00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:22,668 I can get that Chilean cat on the phone right now and get you paid. 285 00:12:22,756 --> 00:12:23,953 There's no shame in it. 286 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:28,193 Musk built PayPal and sold. Hoffman built LinkedIn and sold. 287 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,781 You seen those guys lately? 288 00:12:29,864 --> 00:12:33,254 I don't care about the money, that's not why I got into this. 289 00:12:33,342 --> 00:12:36,184 Richie, can I be honest with you for once? 290 00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:39,402 For once? You're my attorney. 291 00:12:41,912 --> 00:12:46,161 You remember the end of Thelma and Louise? 292 00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:48,566 How they drove that car off the cliff? 293 00:12:48,879 --> 00:12:53,115 Why? That was a mint '66 T-Bird. 294 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:56,338 They didn't need that car to get over the cliff. Why'd that car have to die? 295 00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,606 I-I think it had something to do with, um, 296 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,917 - women's rights or something? - Important stuff. 297 00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:03,090 But... sorry, what's your point? 298 00:13:03,178 --> 00:13:04,691 My point, Richie, 299 00:13:04,779 --> 00:13:07,612 is you wanna go over the cliff, Thelma, that's fine. 300 00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,158 All right? You do you. 301 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,607 But you gotta remember there are 500 other people 302 00:13:12,695 --> 00:13:16,106 in the trunk that are gonna burst into flames with you. 303 00:13:16,437 --> 00:13:17,910 And for what? 304 00:13:18,155 --> 00:13:19,989 Computers? 305 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:22,426 That's Jared. He's been calling me all day. 306 00:13:22,544 --> 00:13:25,045 Uh, hey, can I call you back? I'm in the middle of something. 307 00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:27,301 Did you talk to Gavin Belson about Gwart's company, 308 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:28,807 and call her sexy? 309 00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,652 Uh, what? No. 310 00:13:30,823 --> 00:13:32,832 I mean, yes, but I barely mentioned it. 311 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,879 Did you call her sexy? Yes or no? 312 00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:38,660 I think I was more talking about her tech. 313 00:13:38,794 --> 00:13:40,526 So, you told Gavin Belson, 314 00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:42,926 a lion in repose, 315 00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:44,941 that Gwart was a potential threat, 316 00:13:45,029 --> 00:13:48,228 and now Jian-Yang is selling us to him for pocket change. 317 00:13:48,316 --> 00:13:49,739 - Jian-Yang can do that? - Yeah. 318 00:13:49,823 --> 00:13:52,668 He owns 60 percent of the company. He can do whatever he wants. 319 00:13:52,756 --> 00:13:54,871 Gavin is shutting us down, Richard. 320 00:13:55,115 --> 00:13:57,119 Gwart is so mad, she won't even look at me. 321 00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:59,363 - Aah, fuck. - You know, if you want revenge 322 00:13:59,451 --> 00:14:01,004 on me, that's fine. 323 00:14:01,092 --> 00:14:02,863 But to go after Gwart? 324 00:14:02,989 --> 00:14:04,277 She doesn't have 325 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,949 your savvy or your ruthlessness, Richard. 326 00:14:07,037 --> 00:14:08,912 Hell, she has to wear earplugs on hikes 327 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,457 because the forest is too loud. 328 00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:13,046 Look, I was only talking to Gavin to save Pied Piper. 329 00:14:13,134 --> 00:14:14,213 I-I had no idea he was... 330 00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:15,771 A monster? Of course you did! 331 00:14:15,859 --> 00:14:18,106 That's all you talked about for years! 332 00:14:18,194 --> 00:14:19,443 "Gavin is a monster. 333 00:14:19,531 --> 00:14:21,840 Poor Pied Piper. I'm Richard Hendricks." 334 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,064 I don't think my voice is that deep. 335 00:14:23,152 --> 00:14:25,207 I mean, who is the buddy-fucker now? 336 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,223 You are the buddy-fucker. 337 00:14:29,478 --> 00:14:31,072 So, we gonna save that T-Bird, 338 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,176 or are we gonna take her right over the cliff? 339 00:14:36,423 --> 00:14:37,757 So, uh, 340 00:14:38,202 --> 00:14:40,606 look, I-I know it's not a billion dollars, 341 00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:43,777 but, um, given the situation... 342 00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:46,333 it's actually a very good deal. 343 00:14:46,421 --> 00:14:48,035 Do you want to sell the company? 344 00:14:48,123 --> 00:14:49,301 No, I don't. 345 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,348 Dinesh, I don't, but... 346 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,676 Ron is right. 347 00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:55,790 Maximo is getting it no matter what. 348 00:14:56,651 --> 00:14:58,276 Why just give it away? 349 00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,514 Right. Yeah. 350 00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:03,610 Look, anyway, you guys have done... 351 00:15:04,022 --> 00:15:07,401 everything I've asked for, so, uh, you all deserve this. 352 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,740 Well, we can take the money and still be good people, right? 353 00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,401 Plus, Richard is the CEO, 354 00:15:11,489 --> 00:15:12,565 so I have to follow his orders. 355 00:15:12,653 --> 00:15:13,945 I mean, no one's ever been a bad person 356 00:15:13,995 --> 00:15:15,912 'cause they followed orders, right? 357 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,703 You guys, there's really no other option. 358 00:15:17,787 --> 00:15:19,924 - Yes, there is. - What? No. 359 00:15:20,012 --> 00:15:22,995 Okay, if Hooli won't sell us Foxhole... 360 00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,285 we could just buy Hooli. 361 00:15:25,552 --> 00:15:27,183 Right. Yeah. 362 00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,822 The-the same way we can buy America and everything in it. 363 00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:32,620 No, I-I'm serious. We just found out how much Hooli's worth, 364 00:15:32,703 --> 00:15:34,330 and it's not that much. 365 00:15:34,418 --> 00:15:36,662 Sorry, how do we know how much Hooli's worth? 366 00:15:43,495 --> 00:15:46,384 Gavin bought Gwart's company using Hooli stock? 367 00:15:46,472 --> 00:15:49,912 Mm-hmm. And when he did, he tipped his hand. 368 00:15:49,995 --> 00:15:52,017 He really ran it into the ground. 369 00:15:52,105 --> 00:15:53,910 Yeah, and Maximo's offer's so strong 370 00:15:53,998 --> 00:15:55,676 that our price just shot up. 371 00:15:56,168 --> 00:15:59,152 Holy shit. We're worth more than Hooli. 372 00:16:00,907 --> 00:16:02,573 Uh, hey Jared, uh, 373 00:16:02,688 --> 00:16:04,771 - thank you for... - Save it. 374 00:16:05,104 --> 00:16:07,965 I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for Gwart. 375 00:16:08,407 --> 00:16:10,293 The second you own Hooli, you release us 376 00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:12,746 to become independent, non-negotiable. 377 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,823 Of course. Sure, yeah. 378 00:16:16,121 --> 00:16:18,488 If that's what you want. Cool. 379 00:16:19,706 --> 00:16:21,043 So, guys... 380 00:16:21,512 --> 00:16:23,012 are we really doing this? 381 00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:27,283 Fuck it. Yeah. 382 00:16:27,371 --> 00:16:28,453 I think we have to. 383 00:16:28,537 --> 00:16:30,199 We have to sleep on it. 384 00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:31,491 Okay. 385 00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:34,379 We're gonna buy Hooli. 386 00:16:34,716 --> 00:16:36,183 Big question, 387 00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:38,329 - how do we buy Hooli? - Well, 388 00:16:38,426 --> 00:16:41,072 in order to get the cash, we have to sell a chunk 389 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,411 of our shares to someone other than Maximo, 390 00:16:43,495 --> 00:16:45,120 and, I mean, 391 00:16:45,203 --> 00:16:47,447 whoever we rope into that is gonna lose a fortune. 392 00:16:47,535 --> 00:16:49,556 - Because...? - Well, we'd be selling to them 393 00:16:49,644 --> 00:16:51,088 at our current high price. 394 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,252 And when we acquire Hooli and Foxhole, 395 00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:55,752 CIFIUS will force Maximo to dump all his shares, 396 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,416 and our valuation will plummet. 397 00:16:57,504 --> 00:16:59,079 And I couldn't do that to anyone. 398 00:16:59,161 --> 00:17:01,453 Oh? Couldn't you? 399 00:17:02,832 --> 00:17:04,495 Yeah, I-I'm not sure I could do it either. 400 00:17:04,578 --> 00:17:06,103 Okay! Deal breaker then, right? 401 00:17:06,198 --> 00:17:07,908 'Cause there's no one I could do that to either. 402 00:17:07,996 --> 00:17:09,925 Oh, isn't there... 403 00:17:10,525 --> 00:17:11,859 bro? 404 00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:14,121 Oh, God damn it. 405 00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:17,285 You want me to be an investor in your company? 406 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,853 - I do. - Wow, 407 00:17:18,941 --> 00:17:20,759 that-that is so cool. 408 00:17:20,847 --> 00:17:22,933 But I don't know why I'm surprised because 409 00:17:23,082 --> 00:17:26,087 you're literally the greatest guy that I know. 410 00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:28,449 - What? - Yeah! I mean, 411 00:17:28,537 --> 00:17:30,995 literally last week, Farooq was calling me, and he was like, 412 00:17:31,079 --> 00:17:32,787 "Hey, you know who's a good guy?" 413 00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:34,537 And I was like, "My cousin Dinesh!" 414 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,877 And he was like, "Yes. Yes, your cousin, 415 00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:39,433 - Dinesh." - That's me. 416 00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:40,597 It's hard for me to say, 417 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,986 but I-I think we should hang out more, okay? 418 00:17:43,074 --> 00:17:45,619 And that's my fault, and I promise that I will call you 419 00:17:45,707 --> 00:17:47,533 as soon as me and my friends get back. 420 00:17:47,621 --> 00:17:48,845 Where you guys going? 421 00:17:48,933 --> 00:17:50,892 Oh, we're just gonna go down to the North Shore 422 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:52,079 because... 423 00:17:52,161 --> 00:17:55,738 I bought 80 acres in Hawaii, bro! 424 00:17:55,912 --> 00:17:58,541 And the beach is, like, pretty private or whatever, 425 00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:00,537 but there's, like, fashion shoots and supermodels... 426 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,090 Just sign it. 427 00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:05,103 Thank you, triathletes, for being here today 428 00:18:05,191 --> 00:18:08,418 to support a wonderful cause, HooliCares. 429 00:18:08,506 --> 00:18:11,043 Hooli cares. 430 00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:12,891 Do you? 431 00:18:15,237 --> 00:18:16,551 Take your marks. 432 00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:40,236 He's in the water. 433 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,612 You sure? 434 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,996 I cracked into Gavin's HooliWatch. 435 00:18:44,084 --> 00:18:45,289 Don't ask me how I did it. 436 00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:47,344 I've got real-time GPS location, 437 00:18:47,432 --> 00:18:49,662 blood pressure, body temperature, heart rate. 438 00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:51,787 I can even see where he is in his menstrual cycle. 439 00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:54,041 Looks like a good day to fuck him. 440 00:18:55,354 --> 00:18:57,524 So, I guess we're gonna talk all damn day? 441 00:18:57,627 --> 00:19:00,299 - That the play? - Uh, no. No. 442 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:03,041 We're calling him, okay? So... 443 00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:06,286 - let's do this. - Okay. 'Cause it just seemed like... 444 00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:09,995 Lex Skelton. Hey, uh, it's, um, Richard Hendricks. 445 00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:13,026 I'd like to ask for you to call 446 00:19:13,114 --> 00:19:16,010 an emergency meeting of the Hooli board of directors. 447 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,429 Flank that little fucker in the black cap! 448 00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:26,935 Uh, we've tried to, uh, 449 00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:28,827 contact Gavin Belson, 450 00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,656 but, uh, he hasn't responded. 451 00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:34,656 We do, however, have a quorum. 452 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:35,924 Let's proceed. 453 00:19:36,012 --> 00:19:38,599 Great. Well, I would like to present you 454 00:19:38,687 --> 00:19:41,747 with an offer, and, uh, judging by the current state of Hooli, 455 00:19:41,835 --> 00:19:44,054 I think you'll find it very interesting. 456 00:19:52,453 --> 00:19:54,607 All right, according to the company charter, 457 00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:58,203 Gavin Belson does have two hours to formally object. 458 00:19:58,304 --> 00:20:01,286 Right. Yeah, two hours, 459 00:20:01,486 --> 00:20:02,912 so... 460 00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:04,620 That's no problem at all. 461 00:20:04,861 --> 00:20:06,411 You've seen my offer, 462 00:20:06,495 --> 00:20:09,111 but unless everyone agrees to sell, 463 00:20:09,199 --> 00:20:11,450 there's no deal because I need 464 00:20:11,596 --> 00:20:13,033 total control of the company. 465 00:20:13,214 --> 00:20:16,023 - So, who's in? - Richard, 466 00:20:16,111 --> 00:20:19,203 I expect a lot of us are on the fence here. 467 00:20:19,424 --> 00:20:22,328 Personally, I've been with Gavin for a lot of years, 468 00:20:22,411 --> 00:20:23,767 and believe... 469 00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:25,471 Oh. 470 00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,310 Everyone? 471 00:20:27,682 --> 00:20:30,954 All right. I suppose I won't stand in the way then. 472 00:20:32,109 --> 00:20:33,318 Okay! 473 00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:36,041 Good, yeah. I'll just email you 474 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,939 the long form, and you can just eSign... 475 00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:40,275 ESign? No! 476 00:20:40,716 --> 00:20:42,713 We don't do that. 477 00:20:42,954 --> 00:20:44,995 - What? - Never have, never will. 478 00:20:45,079 --> 00:20:46,589 You want this deal to close, 479 00:20:46,677 --> 00:20:50,425 you bring us the forms, get everyone's hard signature, 480 00:20:50,513 --> 00:20:53,357 and then bring them to me to countersign. 481 00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:55,234 Is that a problem? 482 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,322 No. 483 00:20:57,221 --> 00:20:59,263 More push, more push, more push! 484 00:21:09,037 --> 00:21:10,542 Whoa, he just sped up! 485 00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:12,703 There's been some lag, but I think he's on the bike. 486 00:21:12,787 --> 00:21:15,196 - Okay, we gotta hustle, guys. - I'm aware. 487 00:21:16,328 --> 00:21:18,399 All right, everybody know where they're going? 488 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,995 You go, you get the signatures, 489 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,741 - we meet at Lex's offices, yeah? - Yeah. 490 00:21:21,829 --> 00:21:23,164 Okay. Quick, quick. 491 00:21:24,829 --> 00:21:26,399 Come on, come on, come on! 492 00:21:35,281 --> 00:21:36,516 Go, go, go! 493 00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:37,912 One down. 494 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,664 The next one's up on Market. 495 00:21:39,813 --> 00:21:41,493 Just up this block and take a right. 496 00:21:41,719 --> 00:21:44,037 Is that what the GPS says? 497 00:21:44,322 --> 00:21:46,797 - N-no, I... - Okay, do you wanna drive? 498 00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:48,092 - No, Jared. Look... - I'm Terry Gross. 499 00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:50,905 - Look, should we maybe talk about... - My guest is 500 00:21:51,023 --> 00:21:52,609 a medical bioethicist who learned 501 00:21:52,697 --> 00:21:55,421 about opioid dependence the hard way. 502 00:21:55,509 --> 00:21:56,570 In twenty fifth... 503 00:21:56,658 --> 00:21:59,349 You know, I really ought to consult with my wife 504 00:21:59,437 --> 00:22:02,037 before I make such a big financial decision. 505 00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:06,531 You're really gonna let a woman tell you what to do? 506 00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:11,710 Over here! 507 00:22:16,038 --> 00:22:17,940 Oh, thank you. 508 00:22:18,124 --> 00:22:19,843 Almost done here. 509 00:22:20,499 --> 00:22:21,921 Gavin's just starting the run. 510 00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:24,109 His blood O2 is dog shit. 511 00:22:28,879 --> 00:22:30,937 - Plan J, sir? - Plan J! 512 00:22:34,411 --> 00:22:35,874 Jay! 513 00:22:36,385 --> 00:22:38,468 You are my spitting image. 514 00:22:38,954 --> 00:22:40,976 I'll meet you a quarter mile from the finish line. 515 00:22:41,111 --> 00:22:42,632 Go, go, go, go, go! 516 00:22:48,286 --> 00:22:49,820 I still got it, Hoover. 517 00:22:50,205 --> 00:22:51,600 I know you do, sir. 518 00:22:51,718 --> 00:22:53,382 As long as Jay doesn't fuck up, 519 00:22:53,662 --> 00:22:55,700 I'm gonna beat my personal record. 520 00:22:55,788 --> 00:22:57,495 Let's see, we started at 10:00, 521 00:22:57,601 --> 00:22:59,268 and now it's... 522 00:23:00,771 --> 00:23:02,453 I gave Jay my watch. 523 00:23:06,583 --> 00:23:08,291 The fuck?! 524 00:23:08,782 --> 00:23:11,450 Turn around! Turn around, Hoover! 525 00:23:11,538 --> 00:23:12,578 Yes, sir. 526 00:23:12,662 --> 00:23:14,286 Mother fuck! 527 00:23:14,370 --> 00:23:17,247 So, you've got them all signed, have you? 528 00:23:17,335 --> 00:23:18,812 Yeah. And you can just, uh, 529 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:20,411 countersign all that, and-and, 530 00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,379 your form to sign is at the end there. 531 00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:24,203 Do that, and we'll be out of your way. 532 00:23:32,288 --> 00:23:33,687 Fresca. 533 00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:44,679 Ah. 534 00:23:48,724 --> 00:23:50,523 Let's have a look-see, huh? 535 00:23:53,378 --> 00:23:56,257 "To whom it may... 536 00:23:57,466 --> 00:23:58,907 concern." 537 00:23:59,335 --> 00:24:01,411 Okay, and actually, the signature page... 538 00:24:01,495 --> 00:24:04,120 - I've done these things before! - Yep. 539 00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:05,912 No, I know. I know. 540 00:24:05,995 --> 00:24:08,079 What do you mean not to be disturbed? 541 00:24:08,161 --> 00:24:09,945 I just got a million texts that he's about 542 00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:11,992 to sign away my whole fucking company! 543 00:24:12,328 --> 00:24:15,617 It's Gavin fucking Belson, you clattering magpie! 544 00:24:17,362 --> 00:24:18,388 Hello? 545 00:24:18,476 --> 00:24:19,656 Fuck! 546 00:24:19,829 --> 00:24:21,703 We need to get to Lex's. Now! 547 00:24:21,890 --> 00:24:23,662 All right. Seven down, 548 00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:25,038 one to go! 549 00:24:25,126 --> 00:24:27,003 Yep. Yeah, just finish signing 550 00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:28,341 that form there, and we will... 551 00:24:28,453 --> 00:24:30,453 Stop! Lex, stop! 552 00:24:30,585 --> 00:24:31,796 Gavin? 553 00:24:33,370 --> 00:24:35,411 - Huh? - I thought he was in the race. 554 00:24:35,495 --> 00:24:37,037 - Gavin. - Yeah, he is. 555 00:24:37,202 --> 00:24:39,819 Looks like he's waiting about a mile from the finish line. 556 00:24:40,569 --> 00:24:41,592 Oh. 557 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,847 You are a sneaky little gladiator, aren't you, Richard? 558 00:24:44,935 --> 00:24:47,195 But the Hooli charter, which I wrote, 559 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,507 gives me the right to block this transaction. 560 00:24:49,620 --> 00:24:51,943 Uh, no. It doesn't. 561 00:24:52,031 --> 00:24:53,406 Yeah, that's right. You, uh, 562 00:24:53,494 --> 00:24:55,912 you had two hours, which lapsed... 563 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,572 Seven minutes ago. 564 00:24:59,445 --> 00:25:01,478 I'm afraid they're right. 565 00:25:01,566 --> 00:25:02,884 Shit. 566 00:25:02,972 --> 00:25:05,055 Okay, fine! I can't block it! 567 00:25:05,314 --> 00:25:08,328 But come on, Lex! We have a history together! 568 00:25:08,411 --> 00:25:10,662 You wrote the very first check to Hooli. 569 00:25:10,745 --> 00:25:12,806 You're not gonna turn your back on 30 years 570 00:25:12,894 --> 00:25:14,556 of making money together, are you? 571 00:25:14,644 --> 00:25:17,517 I know we're not in the strongest position right now, 572 00:25:17,644 --> 00:25:20,073 but I will fight my way back, that's what I do. 573 00:25:20,161 --> 00:25:23,319 I-I kick and I scrap and I-I play dirty. 574 00:25:23,407 --> 00:25:25,370 Anything to win! I-I-I could've 575 00:25:25,453 --> 00:25:28,569 bailed Richard out, but I didn't! I fucked him! 576 00:25:28,657 --> 00:25:30,203 And then, I fucked over... 577 00:25:30,286 --> 00:25:31,662 "world poker tour" there! 578 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:33,898 Just for the spite of it, just because I could! 579 00:25:33,986 --> 00:25:35,995 Look, forget all the bullshit about 580 00:25:36,142 --> 00:25:37,640 making the world a better place. 581 00:25:37,728 --> 00:25:40,370 The most valuable companies in this valley 582 00:25:40,556 --> 00:25:43,944 were built and run by-by savages, 583 00:25:44,032 --> 00:25:47,040 who cheat to win. Zuckerberg, and Jobs, 584 00:25:47,157 --> 00:25:49,431 and me, Gavin Belson. 585 00:25:49,519 --> 00:25:53,697 So please, Lex, put the pen down. 586 00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:56,304 Leave your money where it is. 587 00:25:56,392 --> 00:25:57,486 If this is a competition 588 00:25:57,574 --> 00:26:00,430 to find out who the shittier person is, 589 00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:03,072 I'm not sure it's something that I can add to. 590 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:05,281 I can. 591 00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:09,048 - Dinesh? - This must be said. 592 00:26:10,115 --> 00:26:12,687 Gavin, you think you're the most spiteful guy in town, 593 00:26:12,775 --> 00:26:15,286 but you're not even the most spiteful guy in this room. 594 00:26:15,525 --> 00:26:17,079 The truth is... 595 00:26:17,355 --> 00:26:19,021 I'm a bad person. 596 00:26:19,540 --> 00:26:21,697 How do you think we got the money for this deal? 597 00:26:21,870 --> 00:26:24,537 I lied to my cousin's face. 598 00:26:24,775 --> 00:26:28,314 He is going to lose $40 million, give or take, 599 00:26:28,402 --> 00:26:31,476 plus his estate in Hawaii... I hope. 600 00:26:31,628 --> 00:26:34,523 See?! I suck! 601 00:26:34,644 --> 00:26:36,419 Did you know that instead of breaking up with a girl 602 00:26:36,507 --> 00:26:39,245 that scared me, I called the FBI and sent her to prison? 603 00:26:39,452 --> 00:26:41,611 - The Teslas. - Right. 604 00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,476 I pressured my direct reports 605 00:26:43,564 --> 00:26:45,208 to buy Teslas that they could not afford 606 00:26:45,296 --> 00:26:48,039 because I wanted better wheels than a guy named Danny. 607 00:26:48,466 --> 00:26:50,257 And I was eight years old, 608 00:26:50,742 --> 00:26:52,310 I stole my friend Ali's jump rope 609 00:26:52,398 --> 00:26:55,537 and tied it to the back of a truck that drove away, 610 00:26:55,718 --> 00:26:58,203 and then I told him I had no idea what happened to it. 611 00:26:58,328 --> 00:26:59,912 And when he cried himself to sleep, 612 00:26:59,995 --> 00:27:02,146 I ate his British candy and told him 613 00:27:02,234 --> 00:27:03,787 God took it because he hated him. 614 00:27:03,961 --> 00:27:05,703 - Jesus! - So, 615 00:27:05,787 --> 00:27:07,310 if this decision is going to come down 616 00:27:07,398 --> 00:27:10,052 to who is the most spiteful, then, respectfully, sir... 617 00:27:10,140 --> 00:27:11,632 - Stop! Stop! - I would argue... 618 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,263 Just stop talking! 619 00:27:14,351 --> 00:27:17,037 I don't wanna be in business with any of you people. 620 00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:19,578 I don't even wanna be in the same room with you! 621 00:27:19,662 --> 00:27:22,620 I'm gonna sign this and take my money out. 622 00:27:22,961 --> 00:27:25,429 Oop! Gonna miss my bus. 623 00:27:25,633 --> 00:27:26,746 Ugh... 624 00:27:26,834 --> 00:27:29,671 Excuse me. Excuse me. 625 00:27:29,759 --> 00:27:31,301 Excuse me. 626 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,296 Think you won? 627 00:27:34,537 --> 00:27:36,328 Fuck you, Richard Hendricks. 628 00:27:36,648 --> 00:27:39,031 The Valley is small and the road is long. 629 00:27:39,187 --> 00:27:41,023 Just keep looking over your shoulder. 630 00:27:42,491 --> 00:27:43,867 Gentlemen. 631 00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:46,203 And lady... Ow! 632 00:27:46,417 --> 00:27:48,476 Hoover! Help! 633 00:27:52,126 --> 00:27:53,710 Guys... 634 00:27:54,718 --> 00:27:55,870 Did we... 635 00:27:55,954 --> 00:27:57,875 Just buy Hooli? 636 00:27:58,455 --> 00:28:00,179 Yeah, we did. 637 00:28:00,476 --> 00:28:02,079 Holy shit. 638 00:28:03,632 --> 00:28:05,031 Feels pretty good! 639 00:28:06,056 --> 00:28:08,234 Wajeed is gonna be so pissed at me. 640 00:28:08,530 --> 00:28:10,155 And mom's gonna kill me. 641 00:28:10,995 --> 00:28:13,453 So, I guess, uh, everyone got what they want. 642 00:28:14,471 --> 00:28:16,773 Well, actually, uh, Jared. 643 00:28:17,541 --> 00:28:18,708 Hey, uh... 644 00:28:18,796 --> 00:28:21,000 I just wanna say, like... 645 00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:24,411 I'm really sorry about everything, 646 00:28:24,495 --> 00:28:27,046 and, uh, well, 647 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,032 of course, I'd be happy 648 00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,787 to give you and Gwart your company back. 649 00:28:32,870 --> 00:28:35,620 That's obvious. And also, if you... 650 00:28:35,703 --> 00:28:37,742 needed office space, 651 00:28:37,995 --> 00:28:40,734 we'd be happy to have you. Um... 652 00:28:41,416 --> 00:28:44,281 I guess, I don't know, I just... I miss you, man. 653 00:28:45,573 --> 00:28:47,156 Whatever, I don't care. 654 00:28:51,007 --> 00:28:52,317 Jesus. 655 00:28:52,405 --> 00:28:54,429 Yeah, it's sort of his thing. 656 00:28:55,789 --> 00:28:56,974 All right, 657 00:28:57,062 --> 00:28:58,880 well, everybody's gathered out there, 658 00:28:58,968 --> 00:29:01,779 - so you should probably say something. - Okay. 659 00:29:01,867 --> 00:29:04,513 Be gracious and don't expect too much. 660 00:29:04,601 --> 00:29:06,044 What are you talking about? I mean, 661 00:29:06,132 --> 00:29:08,912 won't they be happy? I freed them from Gavin. 662 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,304 I mean, that's one way of looking at it. 663 00:29:11,495 --> 00:29:13,498 Or, your company just swallowed theirs, 664 00:29:13,586 --> 00:29:15,882 and you fired their founder and CEO. 665 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,245 They're probably a little freaked out. They wanna know 666 00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:20,015 that they're gonna keep their jobs. 667 00:29:20,171 --> 00:29:22,329 But we don't know if they will. 668 00:29:23,007 --> 00:29:24,673 - Right. - Yeah. 669 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,953 Well, you'll think of something. Just be yours... 670 00:29:28,887 --> 00:29:31,578 - Keep it short. Keep it short. - Yeah. 671 00:29:31,668 --> 00:29:34,953 Okay... Okay. 672 00:29:35,041 --> 00:29:36,449 ♪ Comin' through today ♪ 673 00:29:36,537 --> 00:29:37,912 ♪ Welcome to Terrordome ♪ 674 00:29:37,995 --> 00:29:40,335 ♪ I'm your host, the friendly neighborhood baritone ♪ 675 00:29:40,423 --> 00:29:42,397 ♪ Vocals channel the spirits of old poets ♪ 676 00:29:42,485 --> 00:29:45,194 ♪ I don't drink, my glass never behold Moet ♪ 677 00:29:45,282 --> 00:29:47,155 ♪ Similar to Paul Laurence Dunbar ♪ 678 00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:49,819 ♪ From the crew you thought was just all chorus and one star ♪ 679 00:29:49,907 --> 00:29:52,149 ♪ Now, I'm one-sixth of a clique that runs shit ♪ 680 00:29:52,237 --> 00:29:54,618 ♪ While commercial counterparts are in constant conflict ♪ 681 00:29:54,681 --> 00:29:56,264 ♪ I'm coming through today ♪ 682 00:29:56,352 --> 00:29:58,547 ♪ A lot of details, on my body be scales ♪ 683 00:29:58,639 --> 00:29:59,899 ♪ I'm from Ida B. Wells ♪ 684 00:29:59,987 --> 00:30:02,085 ♪ People see me feeling good times since like 11 ♪ 685 00:30:02,173 --> 00:30:05,056 ♪ With a really deep militant mind like Michael Evans ♪ 686 00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:07,805 ♪ Every posse recline, watch me get applause ♪ 687 00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:10,181 ♪ Forming reservoirs on your desert shores ♪ 688 00:30:10,263 --> 00:30:12,506 ♪ Your witnessing mental and verbal fitness friend ♪ 689 00:30:12,594 --> 00:30:14,462 ♪ Tuna fish that descended from Lake Michigan ♪ 690 00:30:14,550 --> 00:30:16,241 - ♪ Hey, wait a minute, fish ♪ - ♪ What? ♪ 691 00:30:16,329 --> 00:30:18,460 ♪ Who are you? ♪ 692 00:30:18,548 --> 00:30:19,673 ♪ I'm Charlie 2na ♪ 693 00:30:19,761 --> 00:30:22,094 - ♪ Coming through today ♪ - ♪ Competition listen ♪ 694 00:30:22,204 --> 00:30:23,806 ♪ You got work to do... ♪ 695 00:30:36,931 --> 00:30:38,546 ♪ ...Coming straight from Chi' ♪ 696 00:30:38,649 --> 00:30:42,079 ♪ All day when I say that I'm much more than just... ♪ 697 00:30:47,597 --> 00:30:50,881 This is a video called Maximizing Alphaness. 698 00:30:50,969 --> 00:30:53,321 You just gotta subconsciously absorb it. 699 00:30:53,409 --> 00:30:55,660 This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. 700 00:30:55,748 --> 00:30:56,748 Fuck yeah. 701 00:30:56,843 --> 00:30:59,155 It turns out my real parents are alive. 702 00:30:59,243 --> 00:31:01,931 So you gave me up to simplify your first class air travel? 703 00:31:02,019 --> 00:31:05,185 That's a clear row across. A, B, C, and D. 704 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,608 Do we think this photo of Richard is funny? 705 00:31:08,696 --> 00:31:11,542 He was acting like your boss. You need to assert dominance. 706 00:31:13,126 --> 00:31:14,384 Ah! 707 00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:18,056 It's complicated. You're the only one who got hurt. 708 00:31:18,190 --> 00:31:19,710 Sync Corrections by srjanapala